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Update: I did some reorganizing. See 'I'm a slacker...' for more info. :)

Monday, February 16, 2009

Otalia: 02/16/2009

Opening Scene!!!!!!!!
I missed recording the enitre first scene!!! >:( Had to wait and watch it online.
Natalia: "Look at me." Olivia shakes her head no.(aawww) "Look in my eyes. What do you see?"
Olivia: (Olivia brushed her hair back right before they cut back to her close up so you see her right hand moving back down to Natalia's. She's not completely frozen now, Natalia has calmed her down and she's enjoying/relishing/leaning on Natalia by putting her hands back in Natalia's) "Someone who's strong, loyal, someone I can count on. And someone..." (The whole time they have both been looking into each others eyes.)
Natalia: "Say it." (She was sooo asking for Olivia to put herself out there ans tell her that she loves her. The way she said it was like, 'say whatever it is, because you're not going to scare me away.')
Olivia: "I can't." (Still so scared. After the way Natalia reacted after the presentation and the moms at Towers she's afraid that Natalia won't have anything to do with her if she knew what she was feeling. She's still terrified that Natalia has problems with homosexuality and will shun her if she finds out what Olivia's really feeling. Poor Olivia. :hug:!)
Natalia: "Yes you can. You can because I feel the same way. "
Olivia: "You do?" (This is definitely news to Olivia she seems so hopeful)
Natalia: "I can trust you with my life, and I hope that you feel you can do the same. "
Olivia: "I do. I do, and..." (Really what was she doing, because that noise was right off camera in the hall. Or else it was more than the pencil box full of crayons that fell off the table, cause that was loud!) "Emma!"
Olivia: "Em, you have to be a little more careful with your things see." (Olivia's voice is shaky, still on edge from the previous scene. She didn't even look at Emma on that line. Plus I'm sure that when she heard the noise she thought that someone Phillip or one of his people was there to take Emma. They don't show it, but you can bet that she came flying down those stairs and just barely slowed down by the time she got to the kitchen. A speeding ball of fight and fear on top of all of that shaky being in love and so close to that person and not being able to tell them adrenaline. Can somebody say, powder keg?)
Emma: "You're mad at me, Mom?" (Emma looks up and Olivia finally looks
at her. Poor Olivia has no idea what to do right now. So many emotions. And Emma sounds a bit scared too. Mom running into the kitchen because you dropped something on the floor is not exactly a reassuring pillar of calmness.)
Natalia: "Mommy's not" (Natalia does an eye check up to Olivia here
then looks back at Emma. Making sure that both of her girls are okay.) "mad at you. She's just got a lot on her mind."
Olivia: (her head snaps up and she's got this little soft snarl glare thing happening. But it's tinged a little with hurt too. She really thinks so little of herself that she thinks everyone else does too.) "What's that supposed to mean?" (She is just on edge. She thinks that Natalia is making a remark about her being too jumpy and overprotective of Emma and at the same time isn't ready to hear Natalia say out loud, what she thought she was going to say upstairs.)
Natalia: (Again with the subtle Natalia pauses a second and looks Olivia right in the eyes it's a split second but the looks says, 'Don't snap at me, I'm on your side.' and 'Whoa where did that come from' at the same time.) "A certain visitor" (Then she does that, 'What we were just talking about and we aren't telling Emma about.' eyebrow raise. She's in mother mode again and honestly that statement comes off as a bit condescending. I think that the reason she gets that tone with Olivia is that she's never had an adult of equal standing really in her life before for any length of time or depth of commitment at least before now. So when Olivia gets defensive that's the position that Natalia falls into.) "back in town"
Olivia: Trying to calm down and not scare Emma, she's evened out her
tone but her body is still very tense. "Em, why don't you finish up your Valentines."
Emma: "They're done. I'm ready to deliver them." Olivia's still fighting to stay calm for Emma, but her fears are coming back.
Olivia: Taking a breath "We're not gonna do..." (Natalia's watching Olivia very closely. She's really worried about her.) "No. We're not going out okay, you're gonna just have to..."
Emma: "You promised."
Olivia: (Raises her voice a little, not yelling though clearly feels that things are not in her control) " ...give them to your friends at school."

Love, love, love that she looks up at Natalia here for help. That is
exactly one of the things that having two parents is for. Tag team when
one gets too emotional. She looked to Natalia, then stood upright put the
back of her hand to her nose and backed off. If Natalia hadn't been there she would have gotten into a battle of wills with Emma. Olivia looks down and walks away she turns away from Natalia and touches her own lips as she walks by. Natalia immediately turns and puts her hand on her shoulder to comfort her, and Olivia jerks away. Her expression is like, 'Don't touch me unless you mean it. I can't deal with that too right now. 'Then she rubs her arm the same way Natalia touched her lips. It was subconscious / instinctive but still acknowledging that she felt something. Then crosses her arms. Natalia looks back over her shoulder to check on Emma. She doesn't acknowledge that Olivia pulled away. I'm sure that she noticed she just probably chalked it up to Phillip nerves.
Natalia: (She's being very calm and gentle with Olivia.) "You can't keep her locked in the house forever." Olivia looks back at Emma and Natalia looks up at Olivia. Then as soon as Olivia looks up at Natalia, Natalia looks away. "He's been arrested." Now they're both looking at each other again. "He's behind bars." Natalia crosses her arms now too and turns more to face Olivia. (Olivia's arm cross is more of a security type thing and Natalia's is more of an I'm listening and here for you posture.)
Olivia: Looking right at Natalia again. 'you don't understand' "He'll get out of jail, it's a family talent."
(Yeah, you guys called it. They both break eye contact at the same time and Olivia put her hand to her head 'center and regroup' and Natalia puts her hand behind her neck 'assess and make a plan' Cute note is that they use the opposite arms so that they are now a mirror image. Aawww.)
Natalia: "Okay, then." Natalia puts her fist on her waist and her other hand on the counter. She's figured it out, and knows what to do. "I will go see Frank."
Olivia: "Just go." (Olivia's voice is all thin and choked. :( Natalia snaps her head up. Not the response she was expecting. ) "If you want to go see Frank, just say so." (Olivia hasn't opened her eyes yet, she looks like she's got one heck of a headache. Natalia looks concerned and confused, but not angry at all. )
Natalia: "Where did that come from?" Natalia hasn't changed her stance at all, not angry just trying to figure things out. Olivia opens her eyes but looks anywhere but Natalia. "I'm trying to help you."
(Olivia looks Natalia in the eyes now. She heard the slight pleading in Natalia's voice. 'I'm trying to help you why won't you let me' And that was her second, third I don't know what number we're on, undoing today. She's at the point now where she hurts when Natalia hurts even/especially if she's the one that caused the hurt. I'm interested to see how their next fight goes, I think that Olivia may handle herself a little differently. Before she could say what she wanted and know that Natalia would still be there. Now she needs her to be there so she might be more mindful of that.)
Olivia: her voice is so small and soft and hurt and scared. :hug: "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just go."
Natalia sooooo should have grabbed her and hugged her when she squeezed back by between her and the desk. (Natalia follows her with her eyes and then when she turns around, to go get her coat I'm thinking, she opens her eyes a little wider and get's this look like 'I've got to do something now, she can't keep going like this.')
Seeeeee Natalia isn't leaving to go be with Frank, she's honestly just leaving to make sure that Phillip stays in the slammer and away from Olivia. {spoiler about things heating up between Frank and Natalia, ha! maybe if they share some Flamin' Cheetos ooooo product placement!}

Bill: "Hey."
Olivia: "Hi."
Bill: "Did you uh, hear the news. "
Olivia: "No Phillip..."
Bill: "Phillip is back."
Olivia: Holding her hand up to shush him. "No, no. I'm not telling Emma. Please." (She gets more frantic here when she's afraid that Emma might hear something. Remember that convo on 01/08/09 with Natalia and how Olivia didn't know what to say to Emma about Phillip and Natalia being all sweet and supportive said, 'Well you don't have to worry about that tonight.' Well she sure does now and she's not okay with it. Luckily I'm sure that Natalia will help her figure out what to say and be there with her when she talks to Emma.)
Bill: "Okay."
Olivia: "I was just getting my life back together and starting to enjoy myself." (Aaww, enjoy yourself with Nataaaalia.)
Bill: over Olivia's last words " Honestly I don't think he's here forEmma."
Olivia: Over Bill "You don't know that. He could have a plane fueled up ready to take all of his kids away again." (Her voice cracks a bit here. She's absolutely terrified.)
Bill: "Okay, look. Listen." (he sits on the sofa next to Olivia and puts his hand comfortingly on her back. Girl is a mess.) "Nothing is gonna happen to Emma. Okay? She's gonna be fine. I promise. All right, you got me, Natalia." (Olivia's eyes move from Bill's eyes to his lips) "All right?"
(Olivia takes a breath and looks away. )
Bill: "It's gonna be okay. "
(Olivia nods her head then looks to the other side of Bill still avoiding eye contact. Then in a split second, she looks back at Bill, then to his lips and leans in for the kiss. I mean uber quick. She needs the comfort and she can't get it from Natalia.)
See, I totally don't mind that she kissed Bill because it was from such a place that she just needed someone. The look on her face, was seriously heart wrenching. Much love to CC! :notworthy:
Olivia pulls her hands away from Bill's face then he pulls away from the kiss and they pulls apart. She doesn't open her eyes or move for a second. I think she stopped kissing and pulled her hands away, because she realized that Bill couldn't even provide the solace and comfort that she was looking for. 'Cause she loves Nataaaalia.

Bill: "Ooohhh uh, haha," Olivia puts her hand over her lips but it's the 'Oh I shouldn't have done that' kind instead of the 'Wow that was incredible' kind. Bill clears his throat "that was a blast from the past "
Olivia: clearing her throat she nods her head (Still not looking Bill in the eyes and she's got her hand (knuckles and nails toward her) to her mouth again, this time contemplative, she's going through a whole 4 reel movie of thoughts in her head right now. She talks around her fingers. Very closed off.) "I think I just need to feel close to someone" (Now she looks at Bill. Her eyes kind of say, 'Sorry')
Bill: "Any port in the storm?"
Olivia: "Nice." (Seee, people are still going to treat her like the old Olivia and not let her be the changed person that she is. I don't like it when they do that, because then she starts to doubt herself. Grrr. >:( She takes on her 'Olivia Persona' at least part of it again. And makes a joke/tries to charm Bill away from digging too deep.) "That wasn't good? That wasn't a good ...?" (Drawing a circle in the air in front of her mouth with her finger.)
Bill: "What, are you kidding me? That was..."
Olivia: "...was it?"
Bill: "... a great kiss. But, umm, you don't want this."
Olivia: (Looks up right into Bill's eyes. She needs him to hear her and she needs to see his face when he answers her so that she knows if she can believe him or not.) "I just want someone to tell me it's gonna to be okay. That Phillip isn't back here because of me."
Bill: "Why do you think that you're Phillips target?"
(Olivia looks down and away and gulps, takes a breath and starts to look back up at Bill.)
Olivia: "Because he might think that I'm ruining his daughter's life. "
Bill:"Let's see. She lives in a nice home with a happy mother and her" pause "best friend." (Not sure if Bill paused because it's hard for him to image that Natalia and Olivia are actually friends or if he imagines Natalia and Olivia are more than friends in his own little fantasies.)
Olivia: "It's the friend part that's the problem. Emma wrote this really sweet essay about Natalia and me, and Alan read it and just came over here" ( Olivia closes her eyes and really fights to keep calm and get the right words out. It's almost like she doesn't like reffering to it as a 'living arrangement' anymore.) "and started giving us a problem about a living arrangement."
Bill: "Why? "
Olivia: "Because the unfortunate title of the essay was 'My Two Mommies.'" (She gets a little coy look here, almost like she enjoys saying it and what it implies. It's definitely a bit of a comforting thought.)
Bill: "Oh."
Olivia: "It was innocent, you know Emma. It was innocent, it's the way she see us. But Alan sicked Doris Wolfe on us and who knows, maybe he brought Phillip back here to finish the job."
Bill: "Oh, that would be a new low- even for Alan."
Olivia: "It was certainly humiliating."
Bill: "Well, there's nothing to worry about, okay, because it's not true.
You just explain to Phillip that it's some sort of misunderstanding and
he'd see how ridiculous it all is right?" Olivia lets out a breath, bows her head deflated and puts her hand to her head again. 'If only it were that easy.' "Or... not ridiculous...I..." (Bill looks slightly intrigued by this latest development.)
Olivia: "I don't know what it is." o(Well now that the opening is there, you might as well get it out to someone whoe is slightly detached from the sitiuation. She's processing everything in her head as she'd speaking, it's not like she's trying to come to terms with the feelings though, just with how to articulate them. "I never really looked at her that way, but after spending so many months together and getting closer, I don't know, I guess I just never saw it coming." (Aaww, it snuck up on her, but she's not running from it. She's dealing with it. Yay Olivia!)
Bill: "Are you sure about this?" (Bill is awfully fidgety, if he hadn't been messing with his tie before she started talking about Natalia then I'd think he might have a problem with them. Seriously, what's with the Rodney Dangerfield impression?)
Olivia: "No, I'm not sure of anything. I don't know what I'm feeling. I just know that it's more than friendship." Olivia looks to Bill for a reaction and doesn't really get one. He's not even playing with his tie right now. "And I... We get each other. We click, and it scares the hell outta me." Looks back to Bill for a reaction. Still none. "Did I say all that out loud? "
Bill: "Uh yeah. Yeah."
Olivia: "I can't drink wine." (Oh, it wasn't the wine, you were just about to explode and had to get it out. :hug:) "Say something." (Her tone and eyes says, 'Say something reassuring. Tell me it's going to be okay, and that this isn't going to make Phillip or Alan even more determined to take Emma.')
Bill: "So, you and Natalia, huh? That's -" (That's not comforting. That is sooooo not what she needed to hear, you frat boy! Olivia needed to just smack him upside the back of his head right then.)
Olivia: (Her expression and tone say, Yeah, what did I expect? You just don't get it. Time to go now!) "I don't know what it is, but it is something." (Not backing down even in the face of ridicule. Go Olivia!) "So, if you ever cared about me, you'll forget that you ever came over here. Okay? " (She's got the little disarming and slightly condescending smile again. Yup, she's done with him, he's earned himself a front row seat in the upper balcony and he can watch the show from there. I'm guessing he's not going to be tops on her list to help with Phillip now either. Oooooo!!!! She has no idea that Bill went looking for him does she? And come to think of it, does she even know that Edmond is back in town? Okay, off topic, just wondering. But yeah, That look kind of seemed like she was washing her hands of Bill. She even shook her head as she walked away.)
Bill: "Okay. "


Olivia: "Hi. I thought you were staying at the hospital." (She looks surprised but glad to see Natalia. She's got tea and is much calmer now.)
Natalia: "Well, you can relax. Phillip is in jail." (Natalia is very focused on Olivia right now. It's nice to see that again.)
Olivia: (Huge ragged breath it's a relief for now at least. She even smiles a bit until...) "How's Frank?" (You just had to bring him up didn't you? It actually did look like it pained her to ask, but that she was doing it to show an interest for Natalia)
Natalia: "I brought the Coopers some sandwiches." (Way to avoid Natalia! She doesn't want to talk about Frank either. Heehee.) "It was really hard being there."
Olivia: (Aaww she's more concerned about Natalia than herself right now. Because she looooves her.) "Oh my gosh, it's been nearly a year. I shouldn't have let you go over there by yourself." (Aawwww! Here Olivia is literally petrified at the thought of Phillip being in town and is ready to run and hide or stay and hide and without hesitation she considers that she should have gone with Natalia. She just jumped right to putting Natalia first.:smitten:)
Natalia: (She's really quiet and looks not quiet catatonic, but glazed, like she's processing even though she's looking at Olivia, she's not really looking at her yet.) "Almost a year. Now there's another man there fighting for his life after a car crash. Almost a year since you got his heart, and I just stood there and watched."
Olivia: "Gus die and me live?"
Natalia: Now she really looks at Olivia. She looks back on that day a little differently than she thought she would all those months/heck even 3 months ago. "All I really wanted to do was come back here. I wanted to come back here and be with you." ( Because I love you and I belong here. Olivia also does a swallow/gulp. That definitely hit her in a "more than friends" way) "And this whole situation with Phillip, I don't want anything to happen to you." (Natalia is very worried for her, not just that she'll get so emotional that something happens to her heart, but that she'll withdraw into herself, run away and hide and shut everybody out. She's going to do whatever she can to make sure that Olivia doesn't shut down. Because she loooooves here.)
Olivia: "Gus died, but I'm not going anywhere."
Natalia: Thinking, I didn't just mean physically. "How are you feeling?"
Olivia: "I'm scared, and I'm confused." (In more ways than one.)
Natalia: "So."(Me too She takes a breath and swallows hard too.) "What should I make you for lunch, because we've got to keep your strength up for what's ahead."
Olivia: "Which is?"
Natalia: "Sooner or later you're gonna have to see Phillip." (She said it like she knew Olivia didn't want to hear it, but it had to be addressed.) Olivia looked resigned, scared, and comforted in the thought that she's not alone.

Olivia walks into the kitchen first and Natalia follows her in. They had to have been having a conversation before they came in here. First of all Natalia had to have had time to at least grab stew or soup and put it in the pan. Secondly Natalia is looking at Olivia like she's avoiding a question that she's just asked even though we don't hear the question.

Olivia: "Mmm, smells good. There's a lot of salt in this. What are you trying to do, kill me?"
Natalia: Completely serious tone. (I love her!) "No. Huh uh. I need your rent money."(Olivia turns around with a smile. Now that Natalia has her attention again...)"Would it help you any if I went with you to see Phillip?" (She's trying anything to make this easier for Olivia)
Olivia: "Phillip has a tendency to hurt people who cross him." (Olivia steps closer to Natalia.) "I don't think you know what he's like."
Natalia: (Natalia steps closer to Olivia) "Well, I know what the Spauldings are like. And I know I would do anything to help Emma."
Olivia: (smiles enjoying this united front, team thing.) "Well, if we're gonna flag a bull we need a plan."
Natalia: "We tell the truth." (Raises both eyebrows as if to say, 'Maybe?') "That Emma lives here in a wonderful home" (takes a steadying breath in like she has to concentrate on the next words.) "with two people who love her." (I wonder what she wanted to say, perhaps two people who love each other? Hhmm.)
Olivia: "Two people who are what exactly, to each other? 'Cause Phillip's gonna want to know."
(Okay, there was nothing ambiguous in that statement. She practically flat out asked if Natalia thought they were more than friends too.)
Natalia: "You worry to much." (Soooo avoiding the question! But it's kind of okay. Because she immediately moves her hands to Olivia's arms. I think she's aware of something and she's not sure of how to vocalize it yet, but she knows that she wants to make sure that Olivia feels loved. She's all about the physical now which is an interesting turn of events I think. And it's going to drive Olivia crazy.) "And my offer still stands. If you want me with you... just ask." (Come on Olivia, say, 'I want you with me. All of the time.' You can do it.) The way Olivia just kind of holds up her arms while she's looking down it's like she saying, 'hold me?' and Natalia doesn't even think about it, it's just natural, she envelopes her. Oh, the look on Olivia's face. It's like she's comforted (regarding Phillip) but scared to death at the same time (regarding Natalia) She's in that we're close and can touch, but now I have to always be on guard so that I don't accidentally go too far and scare her or hurt her phase.

It's going to be an incredible ride. (I hate the fact that I can't say amazing anymore. Maybe in a few months. :sigh: )

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