Days: Monday, April 5, 2010

Ooooo. I forgot about Stefano strangling Anna on the massage table. Heehehe.
Daniel is putting on his 'street clothes' to leave the hospital and Carly walks in. She thinks he's leaving against doctor's orders. Chloe is on the phone at Java and says that he's being released.
Chloe runs into Nicole and they hug.
Mel is on the phone with Philip and Brady is at the door.
Rafe told Arianna the he and Sami are over.
I think they need to wait a few hours before telling other people that they're over since they change their minds so often.
I think it's funny that Nicole is being all avoid-y with Chloe.
E.J. and Sami having a heart to heart is kind of creepy.
I love the way Arianna dragged it out of Rafe and the way he said, "I saw Nicole."
Okay, raise your hand if you don't believe that Nicole is telling the truth that she doesn't see Sydney as hers.

Aw, Melanie says she's "starting to think [Carly] isn't so bad." Awww.
Daniel is so not ready to go home. I think he lied to Chloe about his release.

I really think that Molly is taking on some of Crystal's mannerisms whether by conscious choice, or just picking it up by working together.
That little look she gave to Brady at the end of that scene. So very old school Carly.
Mel just totally pegged Brady about Arianna's concerns over Nicole and about Nicole being back. They were having a very mature conversation until Brady decided he didn't want to talk anymore.
Did Chloe just ask for a flesh-eating-virus to possible use on Carly? Even if it was in jest, that's so not cool!
Anna just blamed Stefano for Sydney being kidnapped.
However she did say it was because of how Stefano treated his own son, so she also just spilled the beans regarding E.J. too.
That was a very impassioned speech Carly just gave to Daniel. Awwww.
Uh oh! Chloe just heard Daniel tell Carly, "I could never hate you. " ::sniff:: Otalia memory. (Olivia to Natalia, "No one could ever hate you.") Guh!
Nice one Abe. He let Benny go and then lost him.
Heeheehee. Anna said, "Sydney was lost to you long before we ever took her from Nicole."
Stefano sure jumped on that 'we'! Good times are coming!
Love Brady telling Nicole that she won't find, "Someone to wake up to in the morning." here. Yes! Just keep that up little guy, 'Just Say No'!
She said 'we' was some guy she hired to help her. She should have given up E.J.

Chloe: "Are you ready to go?"
Carly: "Tell her."
Now they're talking about needing to help Daniel and make sure he takes care of himself.
Oh, Chloe said, "We'll just need to make sure that Daniel puts himself first from now on." and Carly said, "Yes, please."
I think Chloe is going to take that as a free pass to shut Carly out.
Anna needs to give up E.J. to save herself.
Brady, just dismissed Nicole, but since Arianna called I'm guessing she's going to put up a fight.
Mel is feeling guilty about Daniel's fall and Chloe is using it to drive a wedge between her and Carly.
David Leisure is funny! He plays slimy well, but funny.
E.J. wants to start living life in the present, a present that includes Sami.
Dude, Nicole just answer the door to let Arianna in. And she was holding a drink.
Ha! I love Carly looking at Chloe, "What did you say to her?"
Chloe: "Melanie and I are going to take care of you." Grrrrr.
Sami is all uncomfortable with E.J. being nice.
Aaaaaaaaand Anna just gave Stefano E.J.

Days: Thursday, March 25, 2010

Have I mentioned that I love Bo and Carly? Have I told you how I think they are so cute together? Just in case I haven't, I do and I do!
Justin is not happy with Hope right now, and I can't say I blame him.
E.J. wants to play chess with the governor? Heehee. I don't know E.J. is fooling him. He may intimidate him a little, but I think the governor might catch on to shiftiness when he's not being distracted by Anna and a bed. :D
Okay, I'm glad that Arianna's pearls broke, because the one shouldered short white wedding dress already made her look a little like Wilma Flintstone.
Besides that necklace was too long for that dress.
I think that Justin may be right. Just because Hope removed her wedding ring doesn't mean that she's moved on.
Aww, Vivian's being a witch, but Carly is just snuggling into Bo. Adorable! Plus snuggling is sweet anyway. Bo just threatened Vivian, woohoo!
Okay, E.J. just said, "You're a corrupt parasite" with a straight face and he wasn't looking in a mirror!
Nicole is looking very pretty but she needs to leave Brady and Arianna alone.
Sami: "I could have sworn that Nicole doesn't have a friend in the world except for Brady and 'Tweedle Dum'." Wow, she's not a Chloe fan huh?
Heehee, Brady checked out Nicole's story that she didn't escape. :)
Absolutely LOVE that Carly is surprised by Bo's emphatic defense and protection of her and threatening of Vivian. She didn't expect him to be so willing either. He looooooves her. :) Then poor Vivian when she realizes that. Someone told me that she can't help that she's crazy, and they were right. She can't help it she just doesn't understand the rules in this complicated game of life. People who have hurt her and killed her nephew shouldn't get to be happy. However, Vivian never stays in a sympathetic place with me for very long, she's too calculating for that.
Justin told Hope that he was in love with her and Adrienne heard him. This does not bode well.
Anna should not be taunting E.J. even if it is over the phone from an airplane. Did we really need the flashbacks to remember that Anna did in fact get Nicole's pardon from the governor?
Good for Brady telling Nicole to go! Baaaaaadddd for Brady letting Nicole kiss him goodbye!
Arianna looks like she's uncomfortable in that dress. I'm not sure that I've seen her stand up straight in it for any amount of time. She looked more relaxed and poised in the bikini.
Rafe!!!!!! Right on time dude! Smart cookie.
Adrienne has to speak to Hope and I love that she's standing her ground. Also, Judi Evans!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
Carly is a little bit worried about this new side of Bo. She's loving the protection and love, but she's worried that he'll actually do something that he'll regret with regards to Vivian. Excellent, phenomenal, beautiful work from Crystal and Peter and Louise in these scenes!
Aw, Adrienne. You can work it out with Justin. I know he's all over the place, but he loves you too.
Aw, E.J. that shirt collar is feeling a little tight right now isn't it? Hehehehehehe. >:) Sami, do NOT let E.J. off the hook for keeping Anna's being in Salem a secret.
Bo has Carly reassured that he won't actually kill Vivian, I think he would though.
Victor thinks he would too. Now Vivian think she would and is going to marry Victor and move back to psychological manipulation. Good times. :)
Ah, Adrienne has Hope's number too. I hope she stays for a while and that they let her keep her current persona and not slip back into the whining clinging that they tend to let people slip into.
Mmmm, Bo and Carly, "I love you Princess." So sweet. (also side note: Makes me think of Olivia calling Natalia 'Princess' also so sweet. I have to say though, that Crystal said it much more adorably than Peter, 'cause, dudes, it's Crystal and she scrunched up her nose, and it was just cuuuuute!)

Guiding Light airdate September 4, 2009

Emma knew that it was Natalia calling! How cute! Love that she's checking in on Olivia and Emma, and Olivia is talking to her, not shutting her out, and Olivia is great here telling Natalia to take care of herself. Letting her know that even if she isn't emotionally ready to go to the sonogram, she does remember it and it is important to her. So sweet!

Seeing Ashlee all excited and hugging Buzz and telling him, "I love you, I love you, I love you," hurt Doris, she wants that with Ashlee and she's regretting so very much of the way she chose to live her life.

I'm still bowled over by seeing Olivia and Phillip talking without Olivia being terrified of him. Just such amazing character development and of course such brilliant acting from Grant and Crystal.
Their next scene together, is wow too. I guess for someone who doesn't know the history between these characters or even of these characters separately, it might not seem like much. The easy and still uncomfortable banter and the dark subject matter handled with humour are expertly played. You can feel how much Olivia wishes Phillip weren't dying and you can feel how relieved he is that she's sad about it. Epic and intricate writing and phenomenal acting have
really brought this couple full circle when they end the scene with a hug initiated by Olivia.

Oh, Alan! He's so hurt and lost and confused. He's looking through Phillip's medical file trying to find something that's going to make up his mind for him, or at least show him a clear and easy choice. When some of the papers accidentally fall into the water, he can't even react right away, he's just so stunned and numb. Major props again to the writers and to Ron.

Nice little touch with Alan making sure that Rafe's enlisting was his own choice, something that he chose to do. Alan is being so attentive to other people right now. It's great to see.

Doris is so nervous with Ashlee, she's absolutely terrified about how things will turn out. Orlagh plays this brilliantly! Really now other words for her in this scene. Just perfect.
She's crying her way through the second scene, and Ashlee's reaction is all about being shut out for all of those years and she leaves Doris broken down on the bleachers. Seriously, Caitlin and Orlagh with the crying and the emotion and just everything about that scene was breathtaking. Who else wants to give Doris and Ashlee big hugs?

Natalia and Phillip. Awesome. Natalia says that Olivia told her, which I love since Alan actually told her first it illustrates how Olivia is really the most important person in her life. Her reaction to Phillip's "I am the dying guy. I think I'll get t-shirts made up that say that." is the same reaction she used to get when Olivia would use inappropriate humour, before she learned to call her on it. She's a bit uncomfortable and doesn't know how to react.
Great stuff. Grant and Jessica work well together and I'll miss what we might have been given in the years to come.

Buzz and Alan scene is another great one. Alan is tentative when he starts talking to Buzz, but he needs someone to talk to, someone outside of the family.
Buzz's line, "Who would choose to have someone else die instead of them?" hit Alan hard even thought Buzz didn't know or intend for it to. When Alan talked about his father paying to allow him not to go Buzz has another great line. "Lots of boys didn't go for lots of reasons Alan," Buzz says putting a comforting hand on Alan's shoulder. That's part of it all isn't it? Alan is still very much that 'boy' that young man from all those years ago trapped by his own guilt. He has carried that feeling of responsibility with him and in doing so has tried to control everyone and everything around him that he holds precious. A boy still grasping at anything might give him that sense of worth.

This scene with Frank and Natalia is another full circle kind of scene. He's brought her something that he thinks she needs, but he doesn't really know her and didn't ask her, and it turns out it's not something she needs after all. And the entire time she's talking about Emma, and Olivia and family just like in December of last year when she was talking about Decker and the money, or January when he kissed her thinking that she was looking to him to be her knight or February when she was so distracted when he was talking about the picnic or March when he proposed and when he did let her speak, he never noticed that her interest in Olivia wasn't to get an opinion or April when he tried to stay after the engagement party and do anything just to be close to her even though she repeatedly and gently let him know that she had other ideas. Frank and Natalia might be the only two people physically there, but Olivia and Emma are always at the front, back and deeply entrenched in the middle of Natalia's mind. This time though, they both acknowledge it. Neither of them pretend that Olivia isn't Natalia's main focus.

Olivia is a little cute trying to keep Phillip from seeing her cry. Sweetie, he's seen you much more emotionally exposed than that. I love his line, "You don't have to run. I'm not contagious." Again with the dead man humour. :) The pout she gets as she shakes her head 'no' when he says, "You don't want to talk about it?" is too cute. You just want to hug her. I love that Phillip is gently letting her know that she's not dying, she has a chance to not waste time to be with the person who loves her and wants a life with her.

Aawww, Doris thinks that she screwed up her talk with Ashlee. She needs a hug. Ashlee will be back. She loves Doris, she just needs a bit to deal with having been kept in the dark for so long.

Ashlee just inadvertently pegged Rafe when she said, "It upsets me that she thinks she can keep such a big secret from me. Like I'd be homophobic like she raised someone who would care." He kind of winces and swallows at that statement because that's exactly how he reacted. I wonder if we'll see him come to some form of acceptance before he leaves.

When Olivia walks into the exam room she and Natalia can't take their eyes off of each other and Natalia puts her hand up to her smile that she's trying not to let get too big lest is open her up to be let down, but Olivia gets that cute little nose wrinkling grin and both of their eyes sparkle with their joy. Frank can't help but excuse himself poor guy, there is just no room in there for him at that point. Neither of the girls can look him in the eye as he steps out, but look at each other, and can't help but come together. Olivia's line, "I had to. I can't waste anymore time." is not just for the sonogram, it's for their life together.

Yet another great episode and scene to end the week with.

Guiding Light airdate September 3, 2009

Olivia in her office. Her first line while she's doing paper work is, "Great, I did it again." It was tossed off like an ad lib, casual and light, although laced with frustration, and it might have been an ad lib, but it was also a clear sign that Olivia is not able to concentrate on work, as this isn't the first time she's made a mistake while doing paper work. She's so flustered and preoccupied thinking about Natalia, that she can't concentrate on work.
Now, what did she 'do again' I wonder? I'm guessing write Natalia's name, write 'baby' or sign something as 'Olivia Spencer-Rivera' like she's been doodling their names together, Olivia Spencer-Rivera, Mrs. and Mrs. Spencer-Rivera, Olivia and Natalia Spencer-Rivera, Mrs. Olivia Spencer-Rivera, trying out the feel and sound of the combined names. At least that's my fun romantically inclined mind's guess.
Natalia is being cute, but also speaks the truth in telling Olivia that she knows that she'll want to be there and that she can't make family moments happen again once they've happened the first time.

Company, the Coopers really have just decided to take this foreclosure lying down. Buzz literally as he's basically lying in state on the bar with a wash cloth over his face. Natalia walks in and says. "Hi." like she's expecting everyone to spring to life once they notice she's there. When they don't so much as move more than a head or a finger a couple of inches she looks more like, let's get this over with so I can get out of the twilight zone. I like that she told Frank the time of the sonogram and that Olivia had been invited. She didn't make a point wanting him to be there, just letting him know that he was invited.

It's fun seeing Ashlee and Blake and Cyrus working together to write Coop's book and save Company.

When Frank is talking to Olivia, she's got her back to him, but she doesn't walk away from him. She stays and listens. She wants to not hurt, to be there for Natalia, but she's so scared of the what-ifs.

Oh, Ashlee, you may not have meant it to be hurtful, but at least Doris heard it. You might not know anything about her today, but that's going to change soon.

Amazing scene with Phillip and Olivia. We didn't have to see him telling her, and I'm glad that we didn't he reaction was enough, it was subdued and powerful. Such a far cry from the Olivia that told Phillip if he didn't go to prison that she was taking Emma and leaving. I think in addition to Natalia's influence that Phillip's unwavering support of her and Natalia and his insistence that Emma had the best most stable home life possible with them was a big factor. Phillip not only said repeatedly that he was happy with how she was raising Emma, but he showed her by always respecting her decisions since he's been back. Trusting Olivia goes a long way with her. The camera cutting between long shots of Phillip and Emma and close ups of Olivia crying was the prefect way to handle that scene, again we didn't have to see/hear Phillip telling Emma, and in the end the telling isn't what's compelling, it's the dealing, the aftermath, the grieving and comforting. Grant and Jacqueline and Crystal were all great here.

James and Rick, excellent scene! Wow. James has never looked less like a petulant child and more like a young man as he did in that scene.

Natalia loading up on the pickles. :) I love how Doris was a little stunned that Natalia was talking about raising a family with Olivia even after Olivia had said she couldn't do it. Doris had fully expected Natalia to give up, but Natalia surprised her with, "She means too much to me." Doris gets almost the same look she had after Olivia's speech in her office back in February, "Wow. SO you're just gonna hang on like that?" She envies what Olivia and Natalia do and can have. That they each have someone who loves them so deeply and completely and fiercely. She never expected Natalia, seemingly meek, Catholic, good-girl Natalia to be so bold and open and unashamed and sure of her relationship. She seems to think that if Natalia could be that confident, surely Doris could find that in herself, and maybe allow herself to find a love of her life too.

Love that Emma isn't afraid to ask for Natalia when she needs her. Beautiful scene with Olivia and Emma. Kudos again to Jacqueline Tsirkin

At the farmhouse, just, aawwww. I mean think about the fact that Olivia wants to always protect Emma from everything, even things that can't be fought against. Then instead of going into the farmhouse she trusts Natalia to be exactly what Emma needs while she's grieving, she doesn't have to be there to chaperon. What could be seen as just another attempt at avoiding being around Natalia actually plays as a show of trust and a gift because Olivia has a beaming smile and is looking Natalia over rather appreciatively when she shakes her head and declines the invitation to go inside. Olivia's taking baby steps. This is the first time that she's allowed Emma to be alone with Natalia since she's been back. The first time since she said, "You can't bake cookies with her and make dresses for her and be a mother to her and then just disappear on her like that because you get a little scared or you aren't sure about something." By not going inside she was still protecting herself, but she was also making a small statement that she trusted Natalia not to run again. She just needs a little more time to be able to trust her with her heart. I think it was a huge step for Olivia.

Company, Buzz and Daisy are at the bar reading newspapers and the article title on Daisy's paper looks like it says, "Never Diet Again" at the same time that Frank is walking behind them eating the sugar straight from a sugar packet. Heehee.

Ugh! Such a tough situation with Phillip and James. You can see both of their points, but Phillip soooo shouldn't have yelled like that. When he goes off like that I actually feel bad for James.

Seriously what's up with Buzz and the washcloth over his head? Is it his version of the ostrich in the sand? What statement does it make that the three people who helped the Coopers and saved the day were "not blood" family as Frank would say.

Cute scene with Natalia and Emma feeling the baby kick.

Doris and Olivia talking about taking risks and making choices. Wow. I simply adore the friendship that these two have forged.

I really like the relationship between Daisy and James too. He sought her out when he needed someone to talk to. They are great for each other.

Rick telling Phillip that he was wrong and that James just wants to be a son. Amazing scene yet again. Michael and Grant did a fabulous job!

Guiding Light airdate August 31, 2009

Buzz: "I'm date ready." Heeheehee. He's soooo ready. lmao Lillian is absolutely beautiful! Josh is funny and just Josh. I love him so very much.

Poor Daisy, it's tough being the baby isn't it. I love that James just wants to spend time with her, it doesn't matter where. He just wants to be around her, it's sweet and a pleasant change from most teen/young adult relationships portrayed on TV.

Natalia is trying so hard, and she's very nervous about saying the wrong thing. "It's what friends do right? Shop and eat." Oh, big hugs to you Natalia! She got so excited when Olivia agreed. Olivia was trying so hard to not snap at her, she loves her so much, but is so scared of being hurt again. Big hugs to Olivia too.

Billy and Vanessa deciding to tell people about their engagement by Visiting. Oh my goodness, it's been so very long since we've seen something like that. First they were courting, and now they're visiting. Ever the classic, southern romantic couple. Awesome!

Reva's trying, I love how she had Baby Band Candy's hand the whole time she was talking herself through it in the car. Great touch.

Aaww! When Lillian suggested baking more cakes for Billy and Vanessa to take on their visiting rounds, Buzz gave her a look of desperation, cause we know that he didn't have baking on his date agenda. Lillian got the cutest little understanding and sympathetic look, then wrinkled her nose like a cute little bunny when she saw Buzz had reluctantly given in. Sooooooo cute! Nice little detail there Tina! Also, Daisy and James having a silent conversation over Lillian's head discussing whether to stay and help. She says 'no'. He says 'please, I'm cute.' She says 'fine, what am I going to do with you?' All with the eyes and the faces. Awesomeness, really! Bonnie and Zack get props here too!

Curious about the three girls on the park bench behind Josh's side of the phone conversation with Billy.

Natalia, the way she pointed and the vocal quality in her voice when she told Matt she'd pick the ice cream over the tequila, such a ghost of the storyline Olivia was going to have during Natalia's absence. No wonder Matt thought he had a shot, she's all flirty, 'cause she can't help it. It's just who she is. Aaaww, sweet. :)

Looooooooove Josh and Olivia! I'm very relieved that he's taken his proper place and won't get between Natalia and Olivia, but I adore him being the friend that she needs, with just a bit of sexual undertones. Plus with them both being int he same kind of place 'friend' wise with their significant 'friends' it's nice that Olivia has someone who understands, and isn't trying to get anything from her.

James! Asking what Buzz's intentions are with Lillian. So rocks!

Natalia is soooooo cute! Hugging Buzz and putting her head on his shoulder 'cause she's all smiley because she's "...going shopping with a friend. That always makes a girl happy." Aawwwww! Honestly I love seeing her this way, she's got this calmness, like she's certain and confident of the outcome even if the path isn't what she expects. She hasn't been this serene really since .... ever maybe. I mean she's had the fight in her and she's presented a confident front, but there has always been an underlying sense of apprehension or trepidation of not knowing what's coming next or how to react, and there isn't in this scene or even the scene with Matt. Jessica is playing this to the hilt!

Vanessa is so cute! "Billy, tell him." Heehee. Does Vanessa know that Josh had a hand in the the proposal happening that day? As they were leaving she told him, "Glad we had that little talk at breakfast." Heehee. Still sweet.

The way Olivia said, "Natalia and I are going shopping." It's almost like she just expects everyone to know about them. But her expression after Lillian's line about everyone being happy. Aawwww Olivia needs a hug!

Josh, "This way I get to drink twice. Celebrate with Billy. Lament with you." Ha! lol
Billy and Vanessa telling Reva about the engagement, crazy awesome, so much history in that room, and they're moving forward by going back to a place they've all been before. Wow.

Oh, Olivia all nervous about going shopping, 'cause it's like a date for her and she feels herself losing control and slipping back into Natalia and she can't let that happen. Natalia looks her over a couple of times when she answers the door all dressed up. Natalia almost tears up when Olivia says she has dinner plans, but she stops herself and puts on a brave face. When Olivia breaks and tells her the truth, that she can't just be friends, I love that she's not completely shutting Natalia out. She's telling her how she's feeling, she has since that first meeting when Natalia came back. This is a very, very mature Olivia in the way she's processing and dealing with Natalia. A huge evolution in personal relationships since she met Natalia. When she walks around Natalia as she's closing the door she chokes up a little and almost cries too. Aw, Natalia's expression when Olivia walks away, it's like she's thinking, 'I know that you're hurting, but I'm not going to let you run.' She loves her too much to let her walk away and be miserable. Guh!! Beautifully done yet again by Jessica and Crystal.

Reva and Baby Band Candy made it to the Mini-mart. Yay for progress! That was very very nice to see.

Matt pulled out Olivia's chair and she said, "Nobody's done that for me in a long time." (like Natalia and Frank in Jan.) Natalia apologizing to Matt, aaww, she knows that he's had a rough day, but she's got to talk to her scared and insecure girlfriend. Love it!
Buzz setting up the romantic dinner for Lillian and himself. Nice, but when you put the closed sign on the door of the restaurant, you might want to actually close the door. :D

Great family stuff on the Bizzie front porch steps.

Matt clued into Natalia and Olivia. Awesome! Great stuff!

Okay, this last scene has to be another one for the books. Like the one in Olivia's office a couple of weeks ago. Natalia is so good at reading behind the mask and knowing what Olivia really needs when she isn't consumed with so much other stuff in her brain. "You can't do it because you're in love with me. We are not casual friends and that's not what I'm looking for from you." Love this scene! "No. We need to be together, and you can't fool me by going on dates with other people." Love Natalia's little 'you think I'm naive' sneer. "I know how I feel. I know how you feel. I can see it in your eyes right now." Yes!
I love the editing here too, the song in the background swells after Natalia's last line when the camera cuts back over to Olivia and the lyrics are, "Baby, this one's forever." How perfect is that?!?

Daytime Emmy Awards - Sunday August 30, 2009

The opening had me rolling. Seriously. I have always loved that song (Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You) and having Vanessa Williams singing a re-worded version was great. I loved her playing the Diva and putting herself in the place of several of the female daytime stars. When she started singing to Natalia my ears did a double take. She worked her way into the famous Otalia kiss scene. So very very cool! But now I really really want to see Crystal Chappell and Vanessa Williams do something together maybe Vanessa can do a guest spot on Days. :)

Thanks to Donna for letting me use her wonderful clips here!


When they were showing Supporting Actor nominees Jessica Leccia was sitting in the row behind Jeff Branson, and then after Jeff Branson won (woohoo! btw) he had a purple handkerchief in his suit pocket!
EJ Bonilla would have given a great acceptance speech. Hopefully he'll get to next year.

Oscar was talking about thanking the little people and mentioned Slimy the worm! Then he slipped in "and Prairie Dawn, she's very small" Ha! ROFL
The Sesame Street tribute and presentation for Lifetime Achievement Award made me cry. Sesame Street and Guiding Light have been a part of my life, upbringing, childhood since I was four years old. I started watching them at the same time. Watching that and realizing that Gordon and Susan and Big Bird are as much a part of my foundation as Phillip and Holly and the Lewis boys.

The tribute to Guiding Light was very sweet, but I wanted it to go on longer. Loved Beth's Bauer BBQ speech being used as the intro. Loved all of the clips that they chose though. Did not like the lack of respect and reverence that I felt Guiding Light should have received. I'm glad they did something at least.

This one is Donna's too. :)


Wow, all in all I was really disappointed in the in the Emmy Awards broadcast this year. I thought the networks LOVED their reality TV and awards shows are very Reality TV, yet the only stuff they really stayed on was scripted dialog. While the Tony Awards broadcast is getting better and more entertaining, this broadcast is getting less entertaining. I would have loved to have seen more footage from every show and longer shots on the nominees and winners. Also where was the standard tribute to those in the industry we've lost this year? Sorry, I try to speak positively, but the production team that the CW put together really showed us that they don't care about the Daytime Industry. I was a bit offended that the show was kept strictly at two hours so that we could make sure to squeeze in an episode of TMZ* before the late news shows started. On second thought, maybe they just needed to have a rocky learning experience for the first year. Hopefully they will be soooo much better next year.



*In all fairness I am offended by the very presence of TMZ (used here without permission, but in no way in an attempt to profit) and other 'celebrity news' media that make a living off of gossip, ambushing people trying to live their lives day-to-day, stalker paparazzi and inflammatory manipulation of actual news for the sake of sensationalism.

Guiding Light airdate August 28, 2009

When Frank had everyone gathered at Company, Lillian asked if Buzz was alright, Christina asked if Remy was with him, those are logical questions since Buzz went to find Remy and Cyrus, but Frank said that he didn't know if Remy was with Buzz and then Marina asked if, "they found Cyrus." Um, Marina, I'm pretty sure that Remy knew where Cyrus was, since he flew down there with him. This kind of deductive reasoning explains the file cabinet evidence locker at the SFPD. :)
Ha! Frank is telling someone to be supportive of Buzz's adventures! That's a twist. :)
I get Natalia's reaction to Rafe's news. My mom did the same thing when she found out that I hadn't canceled my flight to NYC after 9-11. (I told her I was going on 9-10 and the flight was 9-28, when she found out that I was still planning on going she freaked out and called the airline to see if they'd allow a cancellation, after I told her I was still going, and I was in my 20s) On a lighter note the quart of milk on the table (Horizon organic whole milk, my favorite) is the same brand/size maybe even the same carton, that she's drinking out of later at the Minimart. Can I just say how much I really enjoy Jessica's acting.

Nice little jab at the network from the Guiding Light writers here.
Vanessa: "Television's not the game it once was."
Josh: "Yeah, I know. You can't really count on anything these days can you."
Maeve Kinkead so much rocks. I loooove Vanessa's voice cracking with she says, "... that I love him."

Blake grabbing the phone from Frank and him giving her a 'WTH?' look. Too too funny. lol

Olivia: "Yay! Oh, I'm glad I ran into you..." Too cute! Okay, I really just absolutely loved everything about Olivia's scenes with Josh. Love the 'yay'. Crystal Chappell is amazing and Robert Newman awesome, carry on.

Another shout out to Jessica's acting. When Natalia feels like she can't control a situation and she doesn't have a plan she clenches her fist. She did it after the FoD when Frank was following her down the stairs, she did it at the GoL when Olivia was trying to get her to go back to the wedding, she did it when Olivia walked away from her at the park, and she's doing it again in this scene where she tries to get Frank to change Rafe's mind about enlisting. Also the constant tiny shaking of the head when she's not liking or agreeing with what she's hearing. Major props to Jessica Leccia! I can't wait to see her on another show or movie. (Yes I'm looking forward to Venice, but I really want to see her land a great paying job too.)

Why does Company keep the highchairs outside?

Loooove that you can tell that Vanessa sees the ring and doesn't have to almost drink it and that she says, 'Yes' without even pulling it out. She doesn't need to really see the ring, she just needed to know that Billy still wanted it. Guh! Love this show, am gonna miss it so much! Billy getting choked up and teary eyed!!!!!! OMG! OMG! OMG! Just beautiful! Olivia and Josh, so cute!

Flashlight! I haven't heard that song (on the show) in so long! It's so good to hear it again. :)

Oh, and yes, Daisy is drinking wine. Remember it is okay for underage people to drink as long as it's a cop that gives them the alcohol. :D Or maybe they've decided to let her be her actual age of 26 since Rafe did not have alcohol.

Okay, Olivia and Natalia outside of Olivia's room. Holy cow! That's all I've got. Script, brilliant, acting phenomenal, subtle, layered, evocative. You can see so clearly that Olivia wants more than anything to be able to be what Natalia needs her to be, but she's been there before and got burned by Natalia once already. Natalia really needs Olivia, but now she's starting to understand, really see, that Olivia isn't just being stubborn, she's deeply wounded. Wow, just wow!

Josh and Olivia again. Aaawwww!
Natalia's prayer for Rafe, 'to watch over him and protect him' I expected, but 'teach him what I haven't' for some reason that just about killed me. I think it was that she played it so humbly. Just honest and fully admitting that she can't do anymore so she's handing the care of Rafe over to God. She needed to be able to do this, she's been taking on so much guilt over Rafe's actions for too long now.

I thoroughly enjoyed this episode.

Guiding Light airdate August 26, 2009

Today's GL (so far) Painters tape will not hold the box closed. Holly! Natalia had champagne for Olivia's breakfast too. She soooo was planning on it being a date, but backed off when Olivia said, "Honey, it's not going to happen." Aww, denied, but making progress. Keep it up Natalia! She didn't pull away when Natalia put her hand on Olivia's arm as she walked by. Woohoo! :) Also, handwriting... Natalia wrote Marina's note to Mallet too? @ the Cooper cabin ;) the yellow striped hand towel on the upper oven is the same one Olivia covered her face with in the hangover episode. Love the Holly's scarf pulls the same color from Blake's shirt. Aaawww, cute mom/daughter touch, and EVERYONE looks absolutely stunning! Olivia and Holly. Aaww, brilliant scene, brilliantly acted! Shara putting pacifier back in his mouth! lmao He's bored with Mallet saying goodbye for the second time. :D I think he misses Dinah. Who BTW was right from the beginning. She knew Shane would want to be involved in Shara's life. Blake and Ed! I heart them, another great scene.

Otalia: 02/16/2009

Opening Scene!!!!!!!!
I missed recording the enitre first scene!!! >:( Had to wait and watch it online.
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Natalia: "Look at me." Olivia shakes her head no.(aawww) "Look in my eyes. What do you see?"
Olivia: (Olivia brushed her hair back right before they cut back to her close up so you see her right hand moving back down to Natalia's. She's not completely frozen now, Natalia has calmed her down and she's enjoying/relishing/leaning on Natalia by putting her hands back in Natalia's) "Someone who's strong, loyal, someone I can count on. And someone..." (The whole time they have both been looking into each others eyes.)
Natalia: "Say it." (She was sooo asking for Olivia to put herself out there ans tell her that she loves her. The way she said it was like, 'say whatever it is, because you're not going to scare me away.')
Olivia: "I can't." (Still so scared. After the way Natalia reacted after the presentation and the moms at Towers she's afraid that Natalia won't have anything to do with her if she knew what she was feeling. She's still terrified that Natalia has problems with homosexuality and will shun her if she finds out what Olivia's really feeling. Poor Olivia. :hug:!)
Natalia: "Yes you can. You can because I feel the same way. "
Olivia: "You do?" (This is definitely news to Olivia she seems so hopeful)
Natalia: "I can trust you with my life, and I hope that you feel you can do the same. "
Olivia: "I do. I do, and..." (Really what was she doing, because that noise was right off camera in the hall. Or else it was more than the pencil box full of crayons that fell off the table, cause that was loud!) "Emma!"
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Olivia: "Em, you have to be a little more careful with your things see." (Olivia's voice is shaky, still on edge from the previous scene. She didn't even look at Emma on that line. Plus I'm sure that when she heard the noise she thought that someone Phillip or one of his people was there to take Emma. They don't show it, but you can bet that she came flying down those stairs and just barely slowed down by the time she got to the kitchen. A speeding ball of fight and fear on top of all of that shaky being in love and so close to that person and not being able to tell them adrenaline. Can somebody say, powder keg?)
Emma: "You're mad at me, Mom?" (Emma looks up and Olivia finally looks
at her. Poor Olivia has no idea what to do right now. So many emotions. And Emma sounds a bit scared too. Mom running into the kitchen because you dropped something on the floor is not exactly a reassuring pillar of calmness.)
Natalia: "Mommy's not" (Natalia does an eye check up to Olivia here
then looks back at Emma. Making sure that both of her girls are okay.) "mad at you. She's just got a lot on her mind."
Olivia: (her head snaps up and she's got this little soft snarl glare thing happening. But it's tinged a little with hurt too. She really thinks so little of herself that she thinks everyone else does too.) "What's that supposed to mean?" (She is just on edge. She thinks that Natalia is making a remark about her being too jumpy and overprotective of Emma and at the same time isn't ready to hear Natalia say out loud, what she thought she was going to say upstairs.)
Natalia: (Again with the subtle Natalia pauses a second and looks Olivia right in the eyes it's a split second but the looks says, 'Don't snap at me, I'm on your side.' and 'Whoa where did that come from' at the same time.) "A certain visitor" (Then she does that, 'What we were just talking about and we aren't telling Emma about.' eyebrow raise. She's in mother mode again and honestly that statement comes off as a bit condescending. I think that the reason she gets that tone with Olivia is that she's never had an adult of equal standing really in her life before for any length of time or depth of commitment at least before now. So when Olivia gets defensive that's the position that Natalia falls into.) "back in town"
Olivia: Trying to calm down and not scare Emma, she's evened out her
tone but her body is still very tense. "Em, why don't you finish up your Valentines."
Emma: "They're done. I'm ready to deliver them." Olivia's still fighting to stay calm for Emma, but her fears are coming back.
Olivia: Taking a breath "We're not gonna do..." (Natalia's watching Olivia very closely. She's really worried about her.) "No. We're not going out okay, you're gonna just have to..."
Emma: "You promised."
Olivia: (Raises her voice a little, not yelling though clearly feels that things are not in her control) " ...give them to your friends at school."

Love, love, love that she looks up at Natalia here for help. That is
exactly one of the things that having two parents is for. Tag team when
one gets too emotional. She looked to Natalia, then stood upright put the
back of her hand to her nose and backed off. If Natalia hadn't been there she would have gotten into a battle of wills with Emma. Olivia looks down and walks away she turns away from Natalia and touches her own lips as she walks by. Natalia immediately turns and puts her hand on her shoulder to comfort her, and Olivia jerks away. Her expression is like, 'Don't touch me unless you mean it. I can't deal with that too right now. 'Then she rubs her arm the same way Natalia touched her lips. It was subconscious / instinctive but still acknowledging that she felt something. Then crosses her arms. Natalia looks back over her shoulder to check on Emma. She doesn't acknowledge that Olivia pulled away. I'm sure that she noticed she just probably chalked it up to Phillip nerves.
Natalia: (She's being very calm and gentle with Olivia.) "You can't keep her locked in the house forever." Olivia looks back at Emma and Natalia looks up at Olivia. Then as soon as Olivia looks up at Natalia, Natalia looks away. "He's been arrested." Now they're both looking at each other again. "He's behind bars." Natalia crosses her arms now too and turns more to face Olivia. (Olivia's arm cross is more of a security type thing and Natalia's is more of an I'm listening and here for you posture.)
Olivia: Looking right at Natalia again. 'you don't understand' "He'll get out of jail, it's a family talent."
(Yeah, you guys called it. They both break eye contact at the same time and Olivia put her hand to her head 'center and regroup' and Natalia puts her hand behind her neck 'assess and make a plan' Cute note is that they use the opposite arms so that they are now a mirror image. Aawww.)
Natalia: "Okay, then." Natalia puts her fist on her waist and her other hand on the counter. She's figured it out, and knows what to do. "I will go see Frank."
Olivia: "Just go." (Olivia's voice is all thin and choked. :( Natalia snaps her head up. Not the response she was expecting. ) "If you want to go see Frank, just say so." (Olivia hasn't opened her eyes yet, she looks like she's got one heck of a headache. Natalia looks concerned and confused, but not angry at all. )
Natalia: "Where did that come from?" Natalia hasn't changed her stance at all, not angry just trying to figure things out. Olivia opens her eyes but looks anywhere but Natalia. "I'm trying to help you."
(Olivia looks Natalia in the eyes now. She heard the slight pleading in Natalia's voice. 'I'm trying to help you why won't you let me' And that was her second, third I don't know what number we're on, undoing today. She's at the point now where she hurts when Natalia hurts even/especially if she's the one that caused the hurt. I'm interested to see how their next fight goes, I think that Olivia may handle herself a little differently. Before she could say what she wanted and know that Natalia would still be there. Now she needs her to be there so she might be more mindful of that.)
Olivia: her voice is so small and soft and hurt and scared. :hug: "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just go."
Natalia sooooo should have grabbed her and hugged her when she squeezed back by between her and the desk. (Natalia follows her with her eyes and then when she turns around, to go get her coat I'm thinking, she opens her eyes a little wider and get's this look like 'I've got to do something now, she can't keep going like this.')
Seeeeee Natalia isn't leaving to go be with Frank, she's honestly just leaving to make sure that Phillip stays in the slammer and away from Olivia. {spoiler about things heating up between Frank and Natalia, ha! maybe if they share some Flamin' Cheetos ooooo product placement!}

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Bill: "Hey."
Olivia: "Hi."
Bill: "Did you uh, hear the news. "
Olivia: "No Phillip..."
Bill: "Phillip is back."
Olivia: Holding her hand up to shush him. "No, no. I'm not telling Emma. Please." (She gets more frantic here when she's afraid that Emma might hear something. Remember that convo on 01/08/09 with Natalia and how Olivia didn't know what to say to Emma about Phillip and Natalia being all sweet and supportive said, 'Well you don't have to worry about that tonight.' Well she sure does now and she's not okay with it. Luckily I'm sure that Natalia will help her figure out what to say and be there with her when she talks to Emma.)
Bill: "Okay."
Olivia: "I was just getting my life back together and starting to enjoy myself." (Aaww, enjoy yourself with Nataaaalia.)
Bill: over Olivia's last words " Honestly I don't think he's here forEmma."
Olivia: Over Bill "You don't know that. He could have a plane fueled up ready to take all of his kids away again." (Her voice cracks a bit here. She's absolutely terrified.)
Bill: "Okay, look. Listen." (he sits on the sofa next to Olivia and puts his hand comfortingly on her back. Girl is a mess.) "Nothing is gonna happen to Emma. Okay? She's gonna be fine. I promise. All right, you got me, Natalia." (Olivia's eyes move from Bill's eyes to his lips) "All right?"
(Olivia takes a breath and looks away. )
Bill: "It's gonna be okay. "
(Olivia nods her head then looks to the other side of Bill still avoiding eye contact. Then in a split second, she looks back at Bill, then to his lips and leans in for the kiss. I mean uber quick. She needs the comfort and she can't get it from Natalia.)
See, I totally don't mind that she kissed Bill because it was from such a place that she just needed someone. The look on her face, was seriously heart wrenching. Much love to CC! :notworthy:
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Olivia pulls her hands away from Bill's face then he pulls away from the kiss and they pulls apart. She doesn't open her eyes or move for a second. I think she stopped kissing and pulled her hands away, because she realized that Bill couldn't even provide the solace and comfort that she was looking for. 'Cause she loves Nataaaalia.

Bill: "Ooohhh uh, haha," Olivia puts her hand over her lips but it's the 'Oh I shouldn't have done that' kind instead of the 'Wow that was incredible' kind. Bill clears his throat "that was a blast from the past "
Olivia: clearing her throat she nods her head (Still not looking Bill in the eyes and she's got her hand (knuckles and nails toward her) to her mouth again, this time contemplative, she's going through a whole 4 reel movie of thoughts in her head right now. She talks around her fingers. Very closed off.) "I think I just need to feel close to someone" (Now she looks at Bill. Her eyes kind of say, 'Sorry')
Bill: "Any port in the storm?"
Olivia: "Nice." (Seee, people are still going to treat her like the old Olivia and not let her be the changed person that she is. I don't like it when they do that, because then she starts to doubt herself. Grrr. >:( She takes on her 'Olivia Persona' at least part of it again. And makes a joke/tries to charm Bill away from digging too deep.) "That wasn't good? That wasn't a good ...?" (Drawing a circle in the air in front of her mouth with her finger.)
Bill: "What, are you kidding me? That was..."
Olivia: "...was it?"
Bill: "... a great kiss. But, umm, you don't want this."
Olivia: (Looks up right into Bill's eyes. She needs him to hear her and she needs to see his face when he answers her so that she knows if she can believe him or not.) "I just want someone to tell me it's gonna to be okay. That Phillip isn't back here because of me."
Bill: "Why do you think that you're Phillips target?"
(Olivia looks down and away and gulps, takes a breath and starts to look back up at Bill.)
Olivia: "Because he might think that I'm ruining his daughter's life. "
Bill:"Let's see. She lives in a nice home with a happy mother and her" pause "best friend." (Not sure if Bill paused because it's hard for him to image that Natalia and Olivia are actually friends or if he imagines Natalia and Olivia are more than friends in his own little fantasies.)
Olivia: "It's the friend part that's the problem. Emma wrote this really sweet essay about Natalia and me, and Alan read it and just came over here" ( Olivia closes her eyes and really fights to keep calm and get the right words out. It's almost like she doesn't like reffering to it as a 'living arrangement' anymore.) "and started giving us a problem about a living arrangement."
Bill: "Why? "
Olivia: "Because the unfortunate title of the essay was 'My Two Mommies.'" (She gets a little coy look here, almost like she enjoys saying it and what it implies. It's definitely a bit of a comforting thought.)
Bill: "Oh."
Olivia: "It was innocent, you know Emma. It was innocent, it's the way she see us. But Alan sicked Doris Wolfe on us and who knows, maybe he brought Phillip back here to finish the job."
Bill: "Oh, that would be a new low- even for Alan."
Olivia: "It was certainly humiliating."
Bill: "Well, there's nothing to worry about, okay, because it's not true.
You just explain to Phillip that it's some sort of misunderstanding and
he'd see how ridiculous it all is right?" Olivia lets out a breath, bows her head deflated and puts her hand to her head again. 'If only it were that easy.' "Or... not ridiculous...I..." (Bill looks slightly intrigued by this latest development.)
Olivia: "I don't know what it is." o(Well now that the opening is there, you might as well get it out to someone whoe is slightly detached from the sitiuation. She's processing everything in her head as she'd speaking, it's not like she's trying to come to terms with the feelings though, just with how to articulate them. "I never really looked at her that way, but after spending so many months together and getting closer, I don't know, I guess I just never saw it coming." (Aaww, it snuck up on her, but she's not running from it. She's dealing with it. Yay Olivia!)
Bill: "Are you sure about this?" (Bill is awfully fidgety, if he hadn't been messing with his tie before she started talking about Natalia then I'd think he might have a problem with them. Seriously, what's with the Rodney Dangerfield impression?)
Olivia: "No, I'm not sure of anything. I don't know what I'm feeling. I just know that it's more than friendship." Olivia looks to Bill for a reaction and doesn't really get one. He's not even playing with his tie right now. "And I... We get each other. We click, and it scares the hell outta me." Looks back to Bill for a reaction. Still none. "Did I say all that out loud? "
Bill: "Uh yeah. Yeah."
Olivia: "I can't drink wine." (Oh, it wasn't the wine, you were just about to explode and had to get it out. :hug:) "Say something." (Her tone and eyes says, 'Say something reassuring. Tell me it's going to be okay, and that this isn't going to make Phillip or Alan even more determined to take Emma.')
Bill: "So, you and Natalia, huh? That's -" (That's not comforting. That is sooooo not what she needed to hear, you frat boy! Olivia needed to just smack him upside the back of his head right then.)
Olivia: (Her expression and tone say, Yeah, what did I expect? You just don't get it. Time to go now!) "I don't know what it is, but it is something." (Not backing down even in the face of ridicule. Go Olivia!) "So, if you ever cared about me, you'll forget that you ever came over here. Okay? " (She's got the little disarming and slightly condescending smile again. Yup, she's done with him, he's earned himself a front row seat in the upper balcony and he can watch the show from there. I'm guessing he's not going to be tops on her list to help with Phillip now either. Oooooo!!!! She has no idea that Bill went looking for him does she? And come to think of it, does she even know that Edmond is back in town? Okay, off topic, just wondering. But yeah, That look kind of seemed like she was washing her hands of Bill. She even shook her head as she walked away.)
Bill: "Okay. "

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Olivia: "Hi. I thought you were staying at the hospital." (She looks surprised but glad to see Natalia. She's got tea and is much calmer now.)
Natalia: "Well, you can relax. Phillip is in jail." (Natalia is very focused on Olivia right now. It's nice to see that again.)
Olivia: (Huge ragged breath it's a relief for now at least. She even smiles a bit until...) "How's Frank?" (You just had to bring him up didn't you? It actually did look like it pained her to ask, but that she was doing it to show an interest for Natalia)
Natalia: "I brought the Coopers some sandwiches." (Way to avoid Natalia! She doesn't want to talk about Frank either. Heehee.) "It was really hard being there."
Olivia: (Aaww she's more concerned about Natalia than herself right now. Because she looooves her.) "Oh my gosh, it's been nearly a year. I shouldn't have let you go over there by yourself." (Aawwww! Here Olivia is literally petrified at the thought of Phillip being in town and is ready to run and hide or stay and hide and without hesitation she considers that she should have gone with Natalia. She just jumped right to putting Natalia first.:smitten:)
Natalia: (She's really quiet and looks not quiet catatonic, but glazed, like she's processing even though she's looking at Olivia, she's not really looking at her yet.) "Almost a year. Now there's another man there fighting for his life after a car crash. Almost a year since you got his heart, and I just stood there and watched."
Olivia: "Gus die and me live?"
Natalia: Now she really looks at Olivia. She looks back on that day a little differently than she thought she would all those months/heck even 3 months ago. "All I really wanted to do was come back here. I wanted to come back here and be with you." ( Because I love you and I belong here. Olivia also does a swallow/gulp. That definitely hit her in a "more than friends" way) "And this whole situation with Phillip, I don't want anything to happen to you." (Natalia is very worried for her, not just that she'll get so emotional that something happens to her heart, but that she'll withdraw into herself, run away and hide and shut everybody out. She's going to do whatever she can to make sure that Olivia doesn't shut down. Because she loooooves here.)
Olivia: "Gus died, but I'm not going anywhere."
Natalia: Thinking, I didn't just mean physically. "How are you feeling?"
Olivia: "I'm scared, and I'm confused." (In more ways than one.)
Natalia: "So."(Me too She takes a breath and swallows hard too.) "What should I make you for lunch, because we've got to keep your strength up for what's ahead."
Olivia: "Which is?"
Natalia: "Sooner or later you're gonna have to see Phillip." (She said it like she knew Olivia didn't want to hear it, but it had to be addressed.) Olivia looked resigned, scared, and comforted in the thought that she's not alone.

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Olivia walks into the kitchen first and Natalia follows her in. They had to have been having a conversation before they came in here. First of all Natalia had to have had time to at least grab stew or soup and put it in the pan. Secondly Natalia is looking at Olivia like she's avoiding a question that she's just asked even though we don't hear the question.

Olivia: "Mmm, smells good. There's a lot of salt in this. What are you trying to do, kill me?"
Natalia: Completely serious tone. (I love her!) "No. Huh uh. I need your rent money."(Olivia turns around with a smile. Now that Natalia has her attention again...)"Would it help you any if I went with you to see Phillip?" (She's trying anything to make this easier for Olivia)
Olivia: "Phillip has a tendency to hurt people who cross him." (Olivia steps closer to Natalia.) "I don't think you know what he's like."
Natalia: (Natalia steps closer to Olivia) "Well, I know what the Spauldings are like. And I know I would do anything to help Emma."
Olivia: (smiles enjoying this united front, team thing.) "Well, if we're gonna flag a bull we need a plan."
Natalia: "We tell the truth." (Raises both eyebrows as if to say, 'Maybe?') "That Emma lives here in a wonderful home" (takes a steadying breath in like she has to concentrate on the next words.) "with two people who love her." (I wonder what she wanted to say, perhaps two people who love each other? Hhmm.)
Olivia: "Two people who are what exactly, to each other? 'Cause Phillip's gonna want to know."
(Okay, there was nothing ambiguous in that statement. She practically flat out asked if Natalia thought they were more than friends too.)
Natalia: "You worry to much." (Soooo avoiding the question! But it's kind of okay. Because she immediately moves her hands to Olivia's arms. I think she's aware of something and she's not sure of how to vocalize it yet, but she knows that she wants to make sure that Olivia feels loved. She's all about the physical now which is an interesting turn of events I think. And it's going to drive Olivia crazy.) "And my offer still stands. If you want me with you... just ask." (Come on Olivia, say, 'I want you with me. All of the time.' You can do it.) The way Olivia just kind of holds up her arms while she's looking down it's like she saying, 'hold me?' and Natalia doesn't even think about it, it's just natural, she envelopes her. Oh, the look on Olivia's face. It's like she's comforted (regarding Phillip) but scared to death at the same time (regarding Natalia) She's in that we're close and can touch, but now I have to always be on guard so that I don't accidentally go too far and scare her or hurt her phase.

It's going to be an incredible ride. (I hate the fact that I can't say amazing anymore. Maybe in a few months. :sigh: )